dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize