dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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