I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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