she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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