Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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