he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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