fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
