I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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