I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
