I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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