he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
