Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
