Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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