Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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