I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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