do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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