Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
