Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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