just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
