NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
