My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
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Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My vagina is very pro this idea
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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