This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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