I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize