shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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