I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
