Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
