Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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