a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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