Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
