The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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