The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
