Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
