I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
