Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
