I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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