I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
