Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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