i just sent this text using only my big toe
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
