Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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