dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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