Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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