I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
