last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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