Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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