You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
