went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void