Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I want to have your abortion

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  (619): I want to have your abortion http://tfl.nu/1oyo
  Replies (29) Good night (954) Bad night (1549)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.

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  (708): Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick. http://tfl.nu/pzxf
  Replies (21) Good night (1279) Bad night (2833)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8249) Bad night (958)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

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  (914): Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/7q9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (3194)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts

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  (630): btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts http://tfl.nu/hxut
  Replies (4) Good night (3835) Bad night (1055)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

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  (401): Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible. http://tfl.nu/g0k8
  Replies (14) Good night (4456) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?

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  (989): Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember? http://tfl.nu/1p12
  Replies (16) Good night (4703) Bad night (1145)
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  (858): View more from California

  She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.

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  (858): She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/gw51
  Replies (10) Good night (3547) Bad night (1226)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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  (314): He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real. http://tfl.nu/dekt
  Replies (3) Good night (1624) Bad night (788)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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  (512): I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective http://tfl.nu/bge2
  Replies (8) Good night (1685) Bad night (695)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.

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  (314): No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was. http://tfl.nu/6619
  Replies (2) Good night (1498) Bad night (555)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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  (262): In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it" http://tfl.nu/19mj
  Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (1715)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great

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  (610): I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great http://tfl.nu/gyhs
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (388)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.

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  (828): DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it. http://tfl.nu/ob9p
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.

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  (703): We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car. http://tfl.nu/btt0
  Replies (4) Good night (567) Bad night (332)

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