Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
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Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!