Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?

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  (785): So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor? http://tfl.nu/b721
  Replies (13) Good night (725) Bad night (3914)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario

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  (541): I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style (1-541): Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario http://tfl.nu/q9jy
  Replies (44) Good night (2065) Bad night (1236)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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  (814): Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader. http://tfl.nu/y8oj
  Replies (62) Good night (7112) Bad night (892)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"

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  (513): She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli" http://tfl.nu/zw4q
  Replies (22) Good night (1147) Bad night (4829)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?

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  (641): is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now? http://tfl.nu/l9c5
  Replies (6) Good night (3586) Bad night (1615)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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  (202): Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful. http://tfl.nu/bz9e
  Replies (7) Good night (3316) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life

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  (850): He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life http://tfl.nu/ihqi
  Replies (15) Good night (793) Bad night (2889)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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  (919): I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/aln7
  Replies (4) Good night (1999) Bad night (722)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.

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  (757): Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life. http://tfl.nu/3f3y
  Replies (13) Good night (1410) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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  (910): A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/fy2b
  Replies (9) Good night (1081) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.

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  (302): This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/72c6
  Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

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  (585): If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang. http://tfl.nu/cb2r
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

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  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.

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  (763): I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland. http://tfl.nu/vdg1
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.

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  (847): lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying. http://tfl.nu/usim
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (420)

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