Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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(720): View more from Colorado

I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.

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(512): View more from Texas

Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going

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(605): View more from South Dakota

After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha

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