Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" http://tfl.nu/wh5q
  Replies (24) Good night (11184) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card. http://tfl.nu/3ttc
  Replies (39) Good night (1492) Bad night (4837)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like http://tfl.nu/tmn6
  Replies (25) Good night (683) Bad night (2115)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp
  Replies (31) Good night (854) Bad night (3221)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"? http://tfl.nu/e2lv
  Replies (36) Good night (475) Bad night (3010)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade. http://tfl.nu/0707
  Replies (29) Good night (919) Bad night (4323)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real. http://tfl.nu/twnp
  Replies (16) Good night (3410) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/3wga
  Replies (37) Good night (930) Bad night (5244)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (8187) Bad night (1735)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on. http://tfl.nu/d9b8
  Replies (9) Good night (1346) Bad night (3804)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1789) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now. http://tfl.nu/61qu
  Replies (8) Good night (1249) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out http://tfl.nu/ezsq
  Replies (18) Good night (2256) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2
  Replies (2) Good night (1230) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (200)

Randomize