You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
