my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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