Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
