I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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