Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
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I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
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i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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