dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
