dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize