i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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