at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My life is pants optional.
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