Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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