possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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