Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
