sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
