he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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