Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
