you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize